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Email Thread on Parallel Structure in Reports
From: Rita Malik
To: Jon Mercer, Meryem Kaya
Subject: Draft 4 — parallel structure still needs work
Jon,
The executive summary is clearer, but the three recommendations still do not match grammatically.
Current version:
"We recommend expanding regional training, that agencies share more data, and stronger public reporting."
Those are three different structures:
- expanding regional training
- that agencies share more data
- stronger public reporting
The ideas belong together, so the grammar should show that.
Option A:
"We recommend expanding regional training, increasing data sharing between agencies, and strengthening public reporting."
All three items are -ing clauses.
Option B:
"We recommend that agencies expand regional training, share more data, and strengthen public reporting."
One subject, followed by three parallel verbs.
I prefer B because responsibility is explicit.
— Rita
From: Jon Mercer
To: Rita Malik, Meryem Kaya