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2 October 10 p . m . — Last night I slept , but did not dream . I must have slept soundly , for I was not waked by Jonathan coming to bed ; but the sleep has not refreshed me , for to - day I feel terribly weak and spiritless . I spent all yesterday trying to read , or lying down dozing . In the afternoon Mr . Renfield asked if he might see me . Poor man , he was very gentle , and when I came away he kissed my hand and bade God bless me . Some way it affected me much ; I am crying when I think of him . This is a new weakness , of which I must be careful . Jonathan would be miserable if he knew I had been crying . He and the others were out till dinner - time , and they all came in tired . I did what I could to brighten them up , and I suppose that the effort did me good , for I forgot how tired I was . After dinner they sent me to bed , and all went off to smoke together , as they said , but I knew that they wanted to tell each other of what had occurred to each during the day ; I could see from Jonathan’s manner that he had something important to communicate . I was not so sleepy as I should have been ; so before they went I asked Dr . Seward to give me a little opiate of some kind , as I had not slept well the night before . He very kindly made me up a sleeping draught , which he gave to me , telling me that it would do me no harm , as it was very mild . . . . I have taken it , and am waiting for sleep , which still keeps aloof . I hope I have not done wrong , for as sleep begins to flirt with me , a new fear comes : that I may have been foolish in thus depriving myself of the power of waking . I might want it . Here comes sleep . Good - night . CHAPTER XX JONATHAN HARKER’S JOURNAL 1 October , evening . — I found Thomas Snelling in his house at Bethnal Green , but unhappily he was not in a condition to remember anything . The very prospect of beer which my expected coming had opened to him had proved too much , and he had begun too early on his expected debauch . I learned , however , from his wife , who seemed a decent , poor soul , that he was only the assistant to Smollet , who of the two mates was the responsible person . So off I drove to Walworth , and found Mr . Joseph Smollet at home and in his shirtsleeves , taking a late tea out of a saucer . He is a decent , intelligent fellow , distinctly a good , reliable type of workman , and with a headpiece of his own . He remembered all about the incident of the boxes , and from a wonderful dog’s - eared notebook , which he produced from some mysterious receptacle about the seat of his trousers , and which had hieroglyphical entries in thick , half - obliterated pencil , he gave me the destinations of the boxes . There were , he said , six in the cartload which he took from Carfax and left at 197 , Chicksand Street , Mile End New Town , and another six which he deposited at Jamaica Lane , Bermondsey .
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