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“ I think she has , ” said Rosamond , looking up in his face . “ How heavy your eyes are , Tertius — and do push your hair back . ” He lifted up his large white hand to obey her , and felt thankful for this little mark of interest in him . Poor Rosamond’s vagrant fancy had come back terribly scourged — meek enough to nestle under the old despised shelter . And the shelter was still there : Lydgate had accepted his narrowed lot with sad resignation . He had chosen this fragile creature , and had taken the burthen of her life upon his arms . He must walk as he could , carrying that burthen pitifully . CHAPTER LXXXII . “ My grief lies onward and my joy behind . ” — SHAKESPEARE : Sonnets . Exiles notoriously feed much on hopes , and are unlikely to stay in banishment unless they are obliged . When Will Ladislaw exiled himself from Middlemarch he had placed no stronger obstacle to his return than his own resolve , which was by no means an iron barrier , but simply a state of mind liable to melt into a minuet with other states of mind , and to find itself bowing , smiling , and giving place with polite facility . As the months went on , it had seemed more and more difficult to him to say why he should not run down to Middlemarch — merely for the sake of hearing something about Dorothea ; and if on such a flying visit he should chance by some strange coincidence to meet with her , there was no reason for him to be ashamed of having taken an innocent journey which he had beforehand supposed that he should not take . Since he was hopelessly divided from her , he might surely venture into her neighborhood ; and as to the suspicious friends who kept a dragon watch over her — their opinions seemed less and less important with time and change of air . And there had come a reason quite irrespective of Dorothea , which seemed to make a journey to Middlemarch a sort of philanthropic duty . Will had given a disinterested attention to an intended settlement on a new plan in the Far West , and the need for funds in order to carry out a good design had set him on debating with himself whether it would not be a laudable use to make of his claim on Bulstrode , to urge the application of that money which had been offered to himself as a means of carrying out a scheme likely to be largely beneficial . The question seemed a very dubious one to Will , and his repugnance to again entering into any relation with the banker might have made him dismiss it quickly , if there had not arisen in his imagination the probability that his judgment might be more safely determined by a visit to Middlemarch .
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