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Then I was happy indeed . I had been alone all my life , and now I had a family : two sisters whom I loved and a brother . I decided at once to share the money with them . There would be five thousand pounds each for Diana , Mary , St John and me . Diana and Mary would not have to work as governesses any longer , and we could all live together at Moor House . St John said that I was being foolish , but I would not change my mind . A few weeks later the money was divided as I wished . XIV . St John Christmas came , and Diana and Mary came home for good . Hannah and I had cleaned Moor House from top to bottom to welcome them , and we were all very happy together . Only St John stayed cold and distant , because he was planning to go to India as a missionary . He did not want to marry a woman who could not share that hard life . Rosamond Oliver , the pretty young lady who had furnished my cottage , loved him , and I believed that he loved her too . But he refused to think of her , because she could never be a missionary’s wife . One day St John asked me to stop learning German and to learn an Indian language , Hindustani , with him . I agreed , and for many weeks we studied together . He was a strict teacher , and slowly I came under his power . I could not laugh or speak freely when he was in the room . Then one summer day he asked me to walk with him on the moor . We sat down by a stream , and he told me his plans . “ Jane , I am going to India in six weeks , ” he said . “ I want you to come with me as my wife . God made you to be a missionary’s wife . You are not pretty , but you are strong and patient , and you work hard . You would be very useful in India . ” I was silent for a long time , because I knew that he did not love me . He wanted a helper for his work , not a wife . “ I will go to India with you , ” I said at last , “ but only as your sister , not as your wife . ” “ That is impossible , ” he said coldly . “ A brother and sister cannot travel and work together in that way . You must be my wife , or you must not come at all . ” “ I cannot marry you , St John . You do not love me , and I do not love you as a wife should love her husband . If I married you , it would kill me . ” He was offended , and for many days he hardly spoke to me , but he did not give up . On the evening before he left for a short journey to Cambridge , he asked me again . He spoke so gently this time , and so seriously , that I almost said yes . I felt that I might be doing God’s will if I married him .
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