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CHAPTER XXXIV . WHEN they were gone , Elizabeth , as if intending to exasperate herself as much as possible against Mr . Darcy , chose for her employment the examination of all the letters which Jane had written to her since her being in Kent . They contained no actual complaint , nor was there any revival of past occurrences , or any communication of present suffering . But in all , and in almost every line of each , there was a want of that cheerfulness which had been used to characterize her style , and which , proceeding from the serenity of a mind at ease with itself , and kindly disposed towards everyone , had been scarcely ever clouded . Elizabeth noticed every sentence conveying the idea of uneasiness , with an attention which it had hardly received on the first perusal . Mr . Darcy’s shameful boast of what misery he had been able to inflict gave her a keener sense of her sister’s sufferings . It was some consolation to think that his visit to Rosings was to end on the day after the next , and a still greater that in less than a fortnight she should herself be with Jane again , and enabled to contribute to the recovery of her spirits , by all that affection could do . She could not think of Darcy’s leaving Kent without remembering that his cousin was to go with him ; but Colonel Fitzwilliam had made it clear that he had no intentions at all , and , agreeable as he was , she did not mean to be unhappy about him . While settling this point , she was suddenly roused by the sound of the door - bell ; and her spirits were a little fluttered by the idea of its being Colonel Fitzwilliam himself , who had once before called late in the evening , and might now come to inquire particularly after her . But this idea was soon banished , and her spirits were very differently affected , when , to her utter amazement , she saw Mr . Darcy walk into the room . In a hurried manner he immediately began an inquiry after her health , imputing his visit to a wish of hearing that she were better . She answered him with cold civility . He sat down for a few moments , and then getting up walked about the room . Elizabeth was surprised , but said not a word . After a silence of several minutes , he came towards her in an agitated manner , and thus began : — “ In vain have I struggled . It will not do . My feelings will not be repressed . You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you . ” Elizabeth’s astonishment was beyond expression . She stared , coloured , doubted , and was silent . This he considered sufficient encouragement , and the avowal of all that he felt and had long felt for her immediately followed . He spoke well ; but there were feelings besides those of the heart to be detailed , and he was not more eloquent on the subject of tenderness than of pride . His sense of her inferiority , of its being a degradation , of the family obstacles which judgment had always opposed to inclination , were dwelt on with a warmth which seemed due to the consequence he was wounding , but was very unlikely to recommend his suit .
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