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CHAPTER LXX . “ Our deeds still travel with us from afar , And what we have been makes us what we are . ” Bulstrode’s first object after Lydgate had left Stone Court was to examine Raffles’s pockets , which he imagined were sure to carry signs in the shape of hotel - bills of the places he had stopped in , if he had not told the truth in saying that he had come straight from Liverpool because he was ill and had no money . There were various bills crammed into his pocketbook , but none of a later date than Christmas at any other place , except one , which bore date that morning . This was crumpled up with a hand - bill about a horse - fair in one of his tail - pockets , and represented the cost of three days ’ stay at an inn at Bilkley , where the fair was held — a town at least forty miles from Middlemarch . The bill was heavy , and since Raffles had no luggage with him , it seemed probable that he had left his portmanteau behind in payment , in order to save money for his travelling fare ; for his purse was empty , and he had only a couple of sixpences and some loose pence in his pockets . Bulstrode gathered a sense of safety from these indications that Raffles had really kept at a distance from Middlemarch since his memorable visit at Christmas . At a distance and among people who were strangers to Bulstrode , what satisfaction could there be to Raffles’s tormenting , self - magnifying vein in telling old scandalous stories about a Middlemarch banker ? And what harm if he did talk ? The chief point now was to keep watch over him as long as there was any danger of that intelligible raving , that unaccountable impulse to tell , which seemed to have acted towards Caleb Garth ; and Bulstrode felt much anxiety lest some such impulse should come over him at the sight of Lydgate . He sat up alone with him through the night , only ordering the housekeeper to lie down in her clothes , so as to be ready when he called her , alleging his own indisposition to sleep , and his anxiety to carry out the doctor’s orders . He did carry them out faithfully , although Raffles was incessantly asking for brandy , and declaring that he was sinking away — that the earth was sinking away from under him . He was restless and sleepless , but still quailing and manageable . On the offer of the food ordered by Lydgate , which he refused , and the denial of other things which he demanded , he seemed to concentrate all his terror on Bulstrode , imploringly deprecating his anger , his revenge on him by starvation , and declaring with strong oaths that he had never told any mortal a word against him . Even this Bulstrode felt that he would not have liked Lydgate to hear ; but a more alarming sign of fitful alternation in his delirium was , that in - the morning twilight Raffles suddenly seemed to imagine a doctor present , addressing him and declaring that Bulstrode wanted to starve him to death out of revenge for telling , when he never had told .
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