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He held out his hand . She could not refuse to give him hers ; — he pressed it with affection . “ And you do think something better of me than you did ? ” said he , letting it fall , and leaning against the mantel - piece as if forgetting he was to go . Elinor assured him that she did ; — that she forgave , pitied , wished him well — was even interested in his happiness — and added some gentle counsel as to the behaviour most likely to promote it . His answer was not very encouraging . “ As to that , ” said he , “ I must rub through the world as well as I can . Domestic happiness is out of the question . If , however , I am allowed to think that you and yours feel an interest in my fate and actions , it may be the means — it may put me on my guard — at least , it may be something to live for . Marianne to be sure is lost to me for ever . Were I even by any blessed chance at liberty again — ” Elinor stopped him with a reproof . “ Well , ” — he replied — “ once more good bye . I shall now go away and live in dread of one event . ” “ What do you mean ? ” “ Your sister’s marriage . ” “ You are very wrong . She can never be more lost to you than she is now . ” “ But she will be gained by some one else . And if that some one should be the very he whom , of all others , I could least bear — but I will not stay to rob myself of all your compassionate goodwill , by showing that where I have most injured I can least forgive . Good bye , — God bless you ! ” And with these words , he almost ran out of the room . CHAPTER XLV . Elinor , for some time after he left her , for some time even after the sound of his carriage had died away , remained too much oppressed by a crowd of ideas , widely differing in themselves , but of which sadness was the general result , to think even of her sister . Willoughby , he , whom only half an hour ago she had abhorred as the most worthless of men , Willoughby , in spite of all his faults , excited a degree of commiseration for the sufferings produced by them , which made her think of him as now separated for ever from her family , with a tenderness , a regret , rather in proportion , as she soon acknowledged within herself — to his wishes than to his merits . She felt that his influence over her mind was heightened by circumstances which ought not in reason to have weight ; by that person of uncommon attraction , that open , affectionate , and lively manner which it was no merit to possess ; and by that still ardent love for Marianne , which it was not even innocent to indulge . But she felt that it was so , long , long before she could feel his influence less .
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