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He raised his eyes with a little start and looked at her half amazed for a moment : her pale face , her changed , mourning dress , the trembling about her mouth , all said , “ I know ; ” and her hands and eyes rested gently on him . He burst out crying and they cried together , she sitting at his side . They could not yet speak to each other of the shame which she was bearing with him , or of the acts which had brought it down on them . His confession was silent , and her promise of faithfulness was silent . Open - minded as she was , she nevertheless shrank from the words which would have expressed their mutual consciousness , as she would have shrunk from flakes of fire . She could not say , “ How much is only slander and false suspicion ? ” and he did not say , “ I am innocent . ” CHAPTER LXXV . “ Le sentiment de la fausseté des plaisirs présents , et l’ignorance de la vanité des plaisirs absents causent l’inconstance . ” — PASCAL . Rosamond had a gleam of returning cheerfulness when the house was freed from the threatening figure , and when all the disagreeable creditors were paid . But she was not joyous : her married life had fulfilled none of her hopes , and had been quite spoiled for her imagination . In this brief interval of calm , Lydgate , remembering that he had often been stormy in his hours of perturbation , and mindful of the pain Rosamond had had to bear , was carefully gentle towards her ; but he , too , had lost some of his old spirit , and he still felt it necessary to refer to an economical change in their way of living as a matter of course , trying to reconcile her to it gradually , and repressing his anger when she answered by wishing that he would go to live in London . When she did not make this answer , she listened languidly , and wondered what she had that was worth living for . The hard and contemptuous words which had fallen from her husband in his anger had deeply offended that vanity which he had at first called into active enjoyment ; and what she regarded as his perverse way of looking at things , kept up a secret repulsion , which made her receive all his tenderness as a poor substitute for the happiness he had failed to give her . They were at a disadvantage with their neighbors , and there was no longer any outlook towards Quallingham — there was no outlook anywhere except in an occasional letter from Will Ladislaw . She had felt stung and disappointed by Will’s resolution to quit Middlemarch , for in spite of what she knew and guessed about his admiration for Dorothea , she secretly cherished the belief that he had , or would necessarily come to have , much more admiration for herself ; Rosamond being one of those women who live much in the idea that each man they meet would have preferred them if the preference had not been hopeless . Mrs . Casaubon was all very well ; but Will’s interest in her dated before he knew Mrs . Lydgate .
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