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From : Rita Malik To : Jon Mercer , Meryem Kaya Subject : Draft 4 — parallel structure still needs work Jon , The executive summary is clearer , but the three recommendations still do not match grammatically . Current version : " We recommend expanding regional training , that agencies share more data , and stronger public reporting . " Those are three different structures : - expanding regional training - that agencies share more data - stronger public reporting The ideas belong together , so the grammar should show that . Option A : " We recommend expanding regional training , increasing data sharing between agencies , and strengthening public reporting . " All three items are - ing clauses . Option B : " We recommend that agencies expand regional training , share more data , and strengthen public reporting . " One subject , followed by three parallel verbs . I prefer B because responsibility is explicit . — Rita From : Jon Mercer To : Rita Malik , Meryem Kaya Subject : Re : Draft 4 — parallel structure still needs work Agreed on B . I have the same problem in section 2 : " The programme aims to reduce processing time , improving consistency , and that applicants receive clearer guidance . " I assume we want : " The programme aims to reduce processing time , improve consistency , and give applicants clearer guidance . " That gives us : to reduce [ to ] improve [ to ] give The repeated " to " is understood after the first infinitive . My only concern is rhythm . Three bare verbs in a row can sound mechanical . — Jon From : Meryem Kaya To : Rita Malik , Jon Mercer Subject : Re : Draft 4 — parallel structure still needs work Mechanical is fine if the logic is genuinely parallel . The danger is forcing unlike ideas into matching shapes simply because the sentence looks cleaner . For example , this sentence from section 4 : " The reform must be affordable , transparent , and protect vulnerable households . " The grammar is uneven because " affordable " and " transparent " are adjectives , while " protect vulnerable households " is a verb phrase . We could repair the form : " The reform must be affordable , transparent , and protective of vulnerable households . " But " protective of " sounds bureaucratic . Better : " The reform must be affordable and transparent , and it must protect vulnerable households . " We lose perfect three - part symmetry , but gain natural English . Parallelism is a tool for clarity , not a rule that every list must obey . — Meryem From : Rita Malik To : Jon Mercer , Meryem Kaya Subject : Re : Draft 4 — section 5 Exactly . There is also a false comparison in this sentence : " The new system is designed to process applications faster , with greater accuracy , and more fairly . " The elements are semantically parallel — speed , accuracy , fairness — but syntactically they are not : faster = adverb with greater accuracy = prepositional phrase more fairly = adverb Possible revision : " The new system is designed to process applications more quickly , more accurately , and more fairly . " Now all three are adverb phrases . That is a clean repair because the meaning survives intact . This is the kind of parallelism I want throughout the report : not decorative balance , but visible logical structure . — Rita From : Jon Mercer To : Rita Malik , Meryem Kaya Subject : Re : Draft 4 — " not only " Can one of you look at this ? " The pilot not only reduced waiting times but staff reported fewer complaints . " It feels wrong .
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